Very often- honestly too many times to count- I hear my peer support clients or people commenting on my posts, sharing how their imposter syndrome is convincing them, they’re making it all up. How can they be autistic when they easily make eye contact, or how can they have Dyspraxia when they were able to learn how to ride a bike.
But, It’s not that simple, which is why it's so difficult for many people to completely accept. There is that all of nothing idea that if you’re disabled- if you’re neurodivergent, everything has to be hard. And honestly that comes down to miseducation and misconceptions about disabilities. Frankly put it comes down to internalized ableism.
There isn’t one single trait that makes you Autistic or ADHD, or any other type of neurodivergence.
They are each complex, layered, and fluid. Your traits & experiences are greatly affected by your environment, your stress level, how safe you feel with the people you’re around.
It’s not like a fever, if you have one, you know your body is fighting something. This is your entire brain structure, your whole world. Your perceptions and experiences are shaped by it.
Traits are often nuanced and complicated. You might hate loud noises, but love loud music, unless someone else is playing it, but you’re ok if it’s a band you like, but if someone is asking you a bunch of questions while the loud music is playing suddenly it's way too much to handle. How do you measure that?
I found that I wasn’t even aware of some of my traits and struggles because I was so used to them being a part of my life. I assumed certain things were difficult for everyone. Once I realized that’s not true- is when I started accept my disabilities for what they are, and was able to shed the imposter syndrome I felt.
A lot of times those struggles and traits get overlooked until you’re at a breaking point. You push through until you can’t anymore. You may only notice them when you’re so overwhelmed and your senses feel like they are being attacked, when you’re burned out from masking 24/7, when you emotional extremes are explosive because you just can’t hold it in anymore.
That’s why so many of us have imposter syndrome. Because we’re not at our complete breaking point. We aren’t pushed over the edge, we’re just existing as we are and always have been and we think it’s not enough- but it is.
Autism & ADHD and other neurodivergences are spectrums. Take a look at this minimalist illustration. Each bar represents a trait. Together all of those traits & all of their varying degrees is what makes up your neurodivergent experience. You can’t just look at one bar and say this is what being autistic is. Autism is the whole structure.
That’s why advocacy and education is so important. It is enough. You are neurodivergent enough. If your experiences and perceptions are shaped by your neurodivergent traits in any way good or bad- that’s enough.