Over the past few years due to increased education and visibility a lot more adults are learning that they are actually neurodivergent. They’ve learned names for all the ways they’e struggled. And they’ve learned it’s not their fault that some things are more difficult for them than others. Many people self identify or self diagnose their neurodivergence. It’s rarely something that comes without extensive introspection and research. Some go on to seek professional diagnosis some decide to stay self identified. Both are valid.
But frequently it’s met with disbelief by professionals and frustration of people outside of the neurodivergent community - and sometimes by people within the community. They wonder why suddenly so many people are saying they’re autistic or have ADHD- they must be trying to take advantage of being disabled, or maybe they are attention seeking and wanting to be trendy. Which leads to people gatekeeping neurodivergent diagnoses and identities.
I think the reason why so people are focused on gatekeeping neurodivergent identities because of a false idea that accommodations are limited.
First and foremost, accommodations are not and will never be a limited resource. Every single person, disabled or not has needs. There is no way that meeting those needs will ever cause a shortage of resources. Often, the best accommodations are things you can give yourself to make your life a little more comfortable. How can needing to stim or fidget, or needing to wear earplugs or sunglasses be a limited resource.
Even accommodations that need to be externally provided don’t deplete any resources. There isn’t an official quota that says only a few people can receive accommodations, otherwise everyone gets theirs taken away. Needing extra work from home days, or needing more time on a test to process the information, doesn’t take anything away from anyone else. But unfortunately with externally given accommodations, many people think that they provide an unfair advantage.
And, it should go without saying that accommodations will never be unfair. They are necessities to the people who need them.
Story time:
When I was in my undergrad, I had gallbladder attacks. I needed my gallbladder removed. I even spent a few nights in the emergency room. But, I had to wait until my semester ended because of an ableist professor who thought extensions on assignments and extra abscesses were unfair to the rest of the class. (Even in cases of medical emergencies)
Was the rest of the class experiencing debilitating pain every time they ate. Were they spending the nights screaming and crying. No, I was. The accommodations I desperately needed weren’t given. And I had to endure months of pain for no good reason.
Gatekeeping is such an interesting phenomenon. While looking at neurodivergence in particular, we see it from outsiders reactions of people saying “you can’t self identify as autistic because you're not a doctor.”
There are people adjacent to the community saying, “you can’t be neurodivergent because you don’t look or act like my nephew.”
And there are people within the community who are latching onto this idea that accommodations are limited. And as more people self identify as neurodivergent it will somehow take away resources for those who really need it.
But the fact is, the more people that identify the underlying cause of their struggles and accommodate their needs - will only make things easier for everyone. Visibility and awareness are good things. Neurodivergence isn’t rare. And the things that we’ve been pushing through and trying and failing to tolerate can be relieved. We don’t have to struggle.
It’s important for everyone to keep in mind this neurodiversity movement is new. These perspectives that we’re learning about have been historically silenced for years. We’re only learning about many of these experiences because of social media, and finally having platforms where advocates can be listened to. So of course that’s why so many of us are relating to social media posts. It’s where the education is happening.
There are multiple generations of neurodivergent people who have been undiagnosed, undiscovered, and without answers their whole lives. Even in 2013 it was impossible to be diagnosed with both ADHD & Autism at the same time. And today we know that the overlap is outrageous. It’s estimated up to 80% of Autistic individuals also have ADHD!
So with this information- I want you to look at your own life, and see what accommodations you can give yourself to make things easier and more comfortable. It doesn’t matter if you’re are or aren’t neurodivergent, or disabled, or you don’t feel like you can claim the label. Being kind to yourself is only going to help you.
So make a list right now & think of some ways you can give yourself what you need.
Is it letting yourself sleep in longer, or buying more prepared meals. Maybe it’s not answering emails immediately and giving yourself time to process. It could be letting a friend know that you don’t have the energy to see them in person this week. Or it could be as simple as letting yourself wear sweater when you’re cold- when you usually just suffer and power through.